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Feeling Chemistry with Your Date? Science Has an Explanation for That

When looking for a partner, you would most likely look for a spark. Romantic fiction usually describes them as a click that makes you instantly connected to a person. You might be attracted to your date, or you might feel that destiny brought you together.

In the context of romantic relationships, chemistry is an effortless, magnetic attraction between two people. It is the feeling of “clicking” with someone after striking a conversation after a couple of dates. That spark might come when couples hold hands, meet each other’s gaze, or share something in common. The chemistry makes the person want to see their date again and could lead to a relationship.

How Does Romantic Chemistry Happen?

Researchers say that romantic chemistry happens through various factors, like:

Physical Attraction

When you meet your date, your prefrontal cortex activates. This region of the brain causes you to judge the physical attractiveness of the person and whether they’re the right person—all within milliseconds.


Although opposites attract in some cases, biochemistry showed that we are usually attracted to people who share the same facial features and personality traits. We typically feel comfortable around these people because we believe the other person can relate or understand.


When two people experience a deep connection, they are more likely to have an open conversation. This results in long chats as if the couple has known each other all their lives.


A person is attracted to someone mysterious because the air of mystery increases dopamine in the brain. The hormone causes us to find out more about the date. Dopamine also leads us to focus on a person when they’re playing hard to get.


Chemistry also occurs between two people who are sincere with each other. When a person is comfortable with themselves, they are better in expressing their true selves. This makes them easier to get to know, developing mutual trust.

Is Chemistry Important to Relationship Satisfaction?

young couple

Dating coaches, matchmakers, and psychologists have mixed reactions on how chemistry plays into a relationship.

According to some dating experts, chemistry is a deceptive indicator of a future relationship. He compares lovesick feelings to the feeling of taking cocaine. These emotions cause you to build an image around a person. When the lovesickness clears, you’re left with the realistic version of your date and not the person you created in your mind.

Other dating experts point out that people don’t need chemistry to sustain a relationship. For example, several arranged marriages do well in terms of relationship satisfaction because the connection was developed over time.

On the other hand, several experts argue that chemistry helps reduce the problems of being in a less-than-ideal relationship. They suggest not ruling out a date when there is a lack of chemistry the first time. However, if two people don’t develop a spark by the second or third dates, they’ll likely not feel it in the future.

When you feel that chemistry with your date, your body could tell you that they could be The One. However, relationships don’t live off on chemistry alone. If you want to make the relationship last, you need to work to sustain the chemistry.

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